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September 15th, 2006

09:22 am well the stresses of life continue to bog me down and i continue to ask for a reason why... but like me sitting at one end of a worm hole screaming in i think the hole leads to a void empty space where my vocals dissepate into oblivion... work is work.. dont know what new complications have arisen from there as i have been off for the last 2 days and DAMN did i need it... well im kinda drawing a blank as to what there is to say cause im tired of crying.. noone here gives a shit anyways... but i still stick my neck out there in hopes that there is a kind soul somewhere... peace love and blueberry waffles Current Location: library... where else ... i aint got a computer Current Mood: blah Current Music: nothing... the headphones dont work on this station

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September 5th, 2006

10:17 am - nonsense ramblings and todays world of sams fucked up life well you can obviously tell ive been away from the real world way too fucking long.... hope you are all okay after that hurricane.... was talking to a friend of mine and we were talking about hurricane season after a bit... she says you know theres one headed for the carolinas expected to hit tomorrow... im like NO SHIT... so here i am expressing my concern in hopes that all you folks out there are okay after the serious wind and rain... i know it wasnt magnificently disastrous but still deadly to an extent... i hope you are all surviving and getting back to your normal... "chuckle," lives. i found a local used car lot where i will probably be able to purchase/lease a car without the credit struggles... next concern will be to see if i can pay minimal money to help maintain some gas funds, working at mc'ds dont exactly put me in the upper class and all... 3 hours of sleep is quickly taking its toll on me... and just to let you all know the personal calls at work will have to be halted momentarily due to the fact that its incriminating my golden rep... im still sailing in the direction of management... gotta wait till the millionaire greed-fuck is back from vacation so i can go to classes and become certified for the position at work... and i still have yet to learn all the necessary paperwork and sidework involved with becoming a manager... its not all its cracked up to be but i will adjust and tolerate it as long as i need to because this is, like i think ive said before, is an opportunity that noone else has even bore the thought of granting me due to the fact that they are all centrofocused on the delusions and biased opinions of those around them instead of basing a personal judgement apon me personally... ramble ramble . and .. ramble... if i can get away with it i will try to make some phone calls but prolly not till i get a personal phone first... fucking t-mobil can suck a turd with their anal raping retentive bullshit contracts.... well... enough of my useless ramblings... im working on setting up a myspace... no point on letting you see it yet cause i havent done anything with it... the fucking library computers are so god damn restricted i cant even use the mother fucking calculator... i need a smoke dammit... being broke as fuck homeless but yet maintaining my job is a miracle... oh yeah... i havent got all super religious or anything but i can say ive found god... i dont go to church.. its a building built by man... and i cant stand that book... its an excellent lesson guide on do's and don'ts but i think its hilarious in some places cause a lot of the "what i saw" shit is like the stories ive heard from some of my acid head friends and rolling buddies... ive since then purged myself from everything for for the time being... i went through the, what seemed to be necessary, phase of rolling and dont see the pleasure in it anymore.. plus the fun of it is gone... like ive said ive cevered ties with anyone associated with this town and decided to go rogue... doesnt mean i cant talk to my friends though............. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME... i cant seem to stick to one thing and run with it.. its always float from this to that to here to there and when i finish i make no sense at all... yes i notice this and i dont like it but i guess thats what makes me, me... i bet some ppl who read this get so fucking lost by the time im done typing they will get pissed at the fact that they spent the time to read my ramblings.... i should become a psychologist... and thats what ill do if i can ever fucking afford to go to school for it... AAAAAAAAAAANYWAAAAAYS.......i need to walk around town for a bit to help clear my head and ill prolly be back to make another post... i might be able to use msn messenger too if it is active on a system im appointed to... ill talk to yall soon and please let me know if any of you have heard from mikey... i miss him and i aint heard from him in a coons age... heh.. just felt like saying that... peace love and double cherry pie. WHOA THATS fucking HILARIOUS... spellcheck works on bad words too... LMFAO Current Location: library... yet again Current Mood: hungry Current Music: the fucking annoying mumbling of the senile next to me

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July 22nd, 2006

10:31 pm - Who the fuck cares? its been yet again a really long time since i posted here... then again it has been a really long time since ive had a aa a a a a a computer to do this all o... N E ways. that sure brought back a lot of fucking memories sherman and im disheartened to hear things arent going well for you... i just got fired yesterday basically but its a long ass story and i dont feel like going into it again... needless to say im back in the fucking world of the unemployed... i have to call up there tomorrow to see if i still have a job... other than that i might be searching for a place to stay if im fired i cant go buy a car like i intended on doing... and im seriously confused about many things at the moment and there is noone here i can talk to about it... like 1100 dollars in debt and thats from like the last year... looks like the next 3 income returns i get will be captured again and yet again life sux in general....peace love and skittles Current Location: B F E Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: the shower

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May 13th, 2006

01:10 am im tired... wacked apart ... drained.... frustrated.... scrambled... and trying to find out where the fuck i wanna go next and where the fuck i ave to go next.... so many tempting offers... yet atm i wish to maintain with what i have going for me right now and see where it carrys me... if anyone reads this yay... if not idc either way... taking a small break from daoc and going through the moving process... yet again... not much else goin on in this melodramatic filled infested infected tormented twisted life atm... not all of that is true... just like the way it sounds.. peace love and butterfinger cadburry eggs... Current Mood: tired

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February 10th, 2006

12:40 am work is one fucked up story... they popped a drug test at the concrete place so i talked with the boss and he told me if i dont take it i cant work for a few months.. so now im a cook at dennys while im waiting to go back... i moved out the town i was livin in cause its the drug capitol of this area code and i have to clean up or i might end up bringing some innocents down with me if i get in trouble... other than that nothing else new is going on.. got a date with a hot chick tomorrow gonna go watch a movie with her then prolly go out to eat at TGIFridays... gonna get back into daoc... its been a while... other than that not much else is going on... peace love and candycorn!!! Current Mood: drunk

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November 23rd, 2005

09:59 am HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!! Current Mood: cheerful

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October 25th, 2005

09:14 pm suspended from work for a week... heather still hasent responded.. i guess shes forever mad at me... nate called me ... rents due next week i might as well be making minnimum wage.. been at this job 6 months now ... hating life.. still single.. havent been laid in over a year... yeah.. life is really fucking peachy... wheres that god damn gun... FUCK!!! Current Mood: pissed off

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September 23rd, 2005

02:58 am - Begging for Forgiveness and news updates Heather... i realize it may not do me any good trying to apologize, and i can completely understand why you are mad... at that time i was completely out of my head and by reviewing that post it appears that i was extremely pissed off... i guess i was looking for a way to vent from being pissed off about something else and i verbally attacked you as well as a couple other friends of mine... i will omit that entry altogether. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for that heartless commentary. you are one of my most memorable friends (i hope still) and we have shared many happy times including those activities that i regretfully commented apon. I loved your gift very much.. the profound graphics and wonderful story with the extreme veriations. i played it for days once i gave up on Daoc. The last thing i can do is jump to comclusions becuase i dont know what you are really doing with your life and its rude to make such incriminating judgements.. i miss you very much and hope to see you again some time in the future! -:- and to all my other friends if you have been bashed by me in my journal i am truly sorry... things are slowly getting better here despite the couple if jolting events that have taken place recently. Sunday September 18th my best friend Joel Jeremy Cherry age 21 suffered a car accident, with his family (wife and 2 kids), involving no other vehicles . He unfortunately did not make it due to severe head trauma... he died in route to the hospital a mere 9 miles away... his wife Liberty suffered critical damage to her stomach and was life flighted to herman hospital in houston, she is in good condition as of 8 a.m. Tuesday... their 2 y.o. son was thrown from the vehicle while it was rolling due to lack of seat belt, he suffered a critical skull fracture and was also life flighted to herman hospital, he was sewen up and was in good condition as of 10 a.m. Tuesday... The 9 month old baby suffered no injury and is being cared for by a family member who is am e.m.s. technician. Joel is being held until Liberty can get well enough to attend his service... it appears that he was somehow distracted while liberty was taking care of one of the kids, he turned back and lost track of the road, by the time he realized it he was halfway into the ditch... at about 70 m.p.h. he attempted to correct this situation and overcorrected which contributed to the low right rear tire to blow once he got back up to the road that tire caught the fresh asphalt of the road and caused him to roll several times, his window was open due to lack of air-conditioning in his vehicle so while he was rolling his head came into contact with the road a few times while the vehicle was rolling about 55 m.p.h. R.I.P Joel Cherry. i have known him since my sophomore year in high school. *sniff* *sniff* ARGH ... its good to get that out of my system... for further news.. i got my job back and they were extremely happy to see me.. wednesday night i helped my dad board up windows and secure many of the outdoor possessions... and we fled to arlington... we made a trip that would normally take 4 hours in 8.5 hours. backroads and secrets are helpful in situations like this one... well thats about all i can think of atm... i will talk to you all another time .. peace love and pancakes Current Mood: desolate Current Music: Hurricane Rita blaring on 3 TV's .... ARGH

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September 13th, 2005

02:59 pm life is starting to get hectic here... pretty much gave up on the whole concrete job.. it was really wearing me down.. plus they have a really low standard of morals there and expect everyone to work on a different level other than the one we are appointed to... training... theres a 2 hour (safety) video nothing in the way of explaining how we are supposed to do our work... ive been trained by the state... not the company.. that is really lame.. anyways.. i guess im really bored sick outta my mind now... ever since i moved i was never able to capture my green card which is now inhibiting me from going back to the painting job that i had once before.. they are telling me if i can get updated info proving that i am legal to work in the states then i can go back to work for them because they got into a shit load of trouble working illegals and i just so happen to be a non-citizen so it will only raise complications if i get hired and the questioned by la migra... anyways... im thinking about getting rid of all my unworthy possessions and starting life anew... once the love of my life shows up. in a way im looking forward to that and in a way im not... its a really long story if you ask me so dont ask >.< ... well... i guess im off to raise havoc on the world and see what kinda mess i can find my way into now... peace love and cookies& Current Mood: determined

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September 9th, 2005

01:46 pm - YAY HEATHERS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Welcome back to the digital world heather bear... my car is still down and out... the hermit of a next door neighbor that i have is taking his sweet ass time on it... im trying to get my immigration paperwork taken care of so i can go back to painting.. im so sick of this lame ass concrete job.. by the looks of it i may never get those certifications that ive been bragging about because i dont think these freaks even give a flying fuck.. that and i hate working outdoors 95% of the day.. especially with a bunch of power trippy wetback illegal sons of ... er ... anyways i might be going back to my 8.50 an hour job and ignoring the world for a while.. then ill take a break from that and give myself a well earned vacation... blah... i will soon be buying myself a badass computer so i can rejoin the virtual gaming reality i enjoy so much... also i moved out of my parents place last weekend.. now i live in a house with a friend i work with and i couldnt be free-er... ive also been keeping in close contact with my girlfriend cindy.. she will be flying down within the next month to stay with me.. shes my soul mate.. i---.. just .. drew a .... _________________.. im gonna go ahead and get off of here... heather gimmie a call so we can catch up on old times.. peace love and peanut brittle.. Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: bloodrave

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August 16th, 2005

07:19 pm *crickets chirp in the background* my god its been forever...ive havent posted on here in god knows how long... ive thought about blowing the dust off my ranger on lancelot and buying some plat so i can deck out that toon...HEATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE THE FUCK YOU BEEN?!?!?!? GIMMIE A RING PWEASH... PWETTY PWEASH... SMW.. if she so happens to not get this message would you please relay the message... im going to be moving in with a roomate most expectedly at the end of the month... its a 2 bedroom house with total rent at 450... the roomate has been staying there for 6 months already so i figure if he can last that long with someone else then he can last longer in a trustworthy matter.. then i will be purchasing a computer which appears to be a commodity in which i cant live without... then its for the high speed internet so i can get back on You know what as well as x-box live... during that time i will be sending money to my girlfriend so she can move down here... ive been keeping in touch with her daily for about a year now... then i will have my own personal bunny rabbit... erghm ... i .. uh .. mean . companion... anyhow.. im bored off my ass now.. chilling with a friend atm... DOES ANYONE HAVE A FUCKING JOINT GOD DAMMIT>... eghm... sry.. losing control here... a bunch of ppl were recently busted... so theres been a bit of a drought... sux ... anyways.. work is still work.. now averaging about 65 hours a week instead of the 45 hours im used to.. it will be easier to tolerate once i move closer to work.. Current Mood: good Current Music: the air conditioner

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June 12th, 2005

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May 5th, 2005

11:33 pm OMFG... everyone has abandoned lj.... what in the world is going on... yeah i already know... im liking my new job... i walk around all day with a tape measure and check things that are set up .... my position .. quality control.. too much fun atm... the boss hates when i leave early but never remembers it the next day... oh well... bigass paycheck manana .... and its pretty much gone.. the place i was staying at they couldnt get lot rent so i am going to help ... thats only 125 dollars ... then mothers day... prolly just gonna get a fucking card... my bank.. HAHAHA ... now that i have to pay rent i cant afford it till next week.. unless they get my retro kicked in from the dollar short an hour from the last week fixed.... anyhow other than that ... not much else going on... tired as shit and gonna go to bed now... holler back Current Mood: tired

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April 18th, 2005

02:41 pm tis excellent here today.. a spot of rain which is well deserved... anyhow i went to the jobsite this morning... the secretary is like.. you still interested in the job... im like .. O.o .. yeah... so she fills out a recommendation sheet for the clinic and i head there... i get there greet that secretary.. shes like.. what!... im like .. o.O .. anyways.. i hand her the sheet... takes my id and soc sec card and fills in the info in the computer and tells me to go back to the lab... im hoping in my mind that they dont take blood cause i hate it when someone else pokes me with really sharp objects... i get to the lab and the nurse there say here.. take a seat... i look to where she pointed... blood extraction chair with a table next to it filled with tubes and needles... .. o.O .. so i sit... she fills paper work and opens the cabinet and pulls out a cup... i wipe my forehead in relief... anyways.. ill pass it and then i have to back tomorrow at 10am for the physical... then i start work probably on wednesday or maybe after my physical... 7.50/hr is a bit better than my last job but i dont know how many hours ill be getting... but with that i can clear my bank account buy some wheels but most importantly get my fucking game back out of the pawn shop... im going crazy without being able to smoke some peeps with raiden.. or the noob combo of a plasma pistol and assault rifle... anyways... next on my list of games is doom 3 and splinter cell chaos theory... my set of wheels will be a ninja or some synonym of that... and i dont know where im gonna stay after they decide to finally move... im thinking of asking a friend in the town im working in if i can stay there temporarily... if you thought i was bad with daoc you outta see how this guy is with WoW... hes on that bitch like 14 hours a day... anyways... i think that will be it for now... more to come when i know more... heh... f;alsjkvn lau nrlakjvbnaojklf rlkagjbn;agfjk lnfucka;dljv khnolaurbn alkjdamnlaj glkajfbnlaq iufbshita; jklfdnlaodb itchfandlja f;dlhbnas sholea;j lfnlaoujrv n;ajdencun tagjhalufna lkdjbf anyways......peace love and peanuts... Current Mood: anxious Current Music: tonedeaf friend on the karaoke machine

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April 12th, 2005

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April 11th, 2005

11:14 am MEXICANS CAN KISS MY ASS.,.,., eghm.. anyhow.. i still cant find work... just got done filling out about 50 online applications to see if i stand a meager chance of getting a phone call within the next couple of days... im really hoping on one pulling through,,, 125 smacks a day would be a godsend especially when its 7 days a week for about 30 days... and then the work schedule is about 2:1 ratio so i would get about 2 weeks off which means plenty of free time to take my well earned cash and buy some land so i can live freely on my own... im thinking about cattle horses chickens a garden and all that wonderful stuff so i have stuff to fall back on when my job falls through which i dont expect to happen too soon provided i get a damn job... im about to chew through my knee caps i havent had a cigarette in such a long damn time... anyhow.. i hope things are going better on your corner of the world... i have to go now.. damn library timer is up... got DSL... and no computer.. i even had to sell my x-box just to get some damn food money... f()@&*#$()* COCK SUCKING PIECE OF S%&%^ LIFE .... wheres a gun when you need one... argh Current Mood: frustrated Current Music: silence of the library.. a damn pindrop could be heard

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February 23rd, 2005

07:31 am another day with plenty of ticking and tocking going on... thats pretty much all i can suffice with when i live out in bum fuck egypt where only old folk and the antelope play.... listen to eminem much? you would understand more of what i mean if i said it was extremely fruity around here... rain.. incessant ... work ... as with any other job.. gotta put up with the asshole boss of mine and play it cool till i see a freaking raise... 6 whole whopping dollars an hour... but at 144 hours a paycheck.. time and a half after 80 i still see a fairly decent paycheck... ive been talking to this girl.. shes cool to hang with and we have so much in common... one thing is how we both wanna quit smoking weed... and lo and behold its been almost 3 weeks clean and not looking back... gonna get a decent paycheck this pay period.. bout 800 take home. on another note about work.. i work under this dumbass nigger that every single truck driver that stops at our location hates... hes about as useful as tits on a boar hog... hes turned me into the shift covering yoyo that he feels he can abuse... only been working at this joint for 3 fucking weeks and they started me out at 5 fucking dollars and 79 fucking cents an hour... i bitched my ass off because of what an exemplary employee i was and that i deserve to get paid more ... especially taking into consideration that ive been treated like scum and that i have more responsibility there than the incompetent mexican folk that work there... needless to say if i didnt know a lick of spanish i woulda never gotten the damn job.. i love the job its so easy... shit, when i work during the night shift there is usually a few hours where we dont have a damn thing to do so i take a nap... A NAP? you ask... yes sleep during my working shift while i am still on the clock earning that wonderful overtime pay of a whole 9 fucking dollars an hour... anyways.................... sneeze break... going on number 8 now ... SONOFA BITCH... just blew snot all over the monitor... ..|., (>.<) ,.|.. FUCKIT... anyways... im gonna be moving in with a friend of mine shortly ... they will have a vehicle that i can use to transport myself with to and fro... and all i have to worry about is 125 lot rent... well i know i was on a roll but my brain is starting to shut down on me now so ill leave it at that... life goes on yadda yadda... peace love and skittles!! Current Mood: pessimistic Current Music: p.o.s. grandmother clock im bout to go office space style on

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January 12th, 2005

10:37 pm i got home and im determining that i shoulda stayed there... there is less of a job opportunity here than i thought and thats irritating the fuck outta me... cant get high.. cant hang with friends ( due to the lack of friends here ) cant get outta the house cause there is nowhere to go at all... unless i wanna go to houston.. then again i cant do that without any money.. which life is nothing without it unless you have enough material possessions to tide your time to get by till the next job... im bored as hell.. if you feel like talking for whatever reason whoever you are.. my cell is 979 733 3699... feel free to call anytime after 9pm central or anytime as long as youre serviced through cingular... im gonna jet now... cya all on the flipside.. peace love and M&M's Current Mood: awake Current Music: everybody loves raymond running in the background

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January 7th, 2005

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October 4th, 2004

01:09 pm - not much How evil are you? ---------------------------------------------- Tacky doesnt describe it... musta fired the last programmer for doing his job... sounds like something that would happen to me... as far as my friends list is concerned the only name i see going on here is SMW... its like everyone else disappeared off the face of the planet... i dont think im even on angels friends list or i would be seeing some of her posts... and heather... what happened there.. its like she disappeared as well.. anyhow im off to work again in about 5 hours... other than that not much going on here... bored off my ass and broke as a joke... but that will change.. hopefully this crew will like me... oh well... im gonna go take my new perscription Fukidol.... l8r all Current Mood: hot

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